Cleaning out the thoughts: one side of A4

After nearly eight years of college (I did take a year off though), you would think that I would be better at time management. I’m bad at managing the downtime, working through the breaks. I’m no good at long-term projects. Short papers, short bursts of energy, are fine. Dissertations are not my cup of tea, which is a funny thing considering I’m on my third graduate degree. No wonder they’ve all been so short. Sometimes I can get away with it: my first master’s degree had a lot of data analysis, and tables take up less space than prose. My second master’s degree had word limits, and was a one-year degree. My undergraduate honors thesis was also short, but my Oxford master’s dissertation was shorter, I think. This year, I’ve been writing in short bursts. The first term was bad, because I was sick for so long. I only managed eight or nine thousand words of detached thoughts, which actually turned out to be helpful when writing this term. In Hilary, I wrote lots of short papers, two to three thousand words. I just could not bring myself to write any more for those papers. This term, we had to submit a transfer paper, allowing us to move from first-year probationer status to full doctoral status. The transfer paper has to be ten thousand words. I did this by cleaning up three of my papers from last term and tying them together with an introduction, conclusion, and some unifying thoughts. It ended up to be about twelve thousand words long. I’m rather pleased with it. The title, if I have not mentioned it already, is “Figures of Authority: Cervantes’s Responses to the Platonist Critique of Fiction in Selected Works.” The theory stuff, the Plato, scares me. I did not do well in theory last year, and I struggled with theory in my first master’s. But theory is useful, so I guess I should get to know it. I love the Cervantes stuff, I’ve been doing it for years. I don’t get tired of reading Cervantes. I also like reading Cervantine criticism, even when I don’t agree with it. Like E.C. Riley for example. His argument about Cervantes’s influences seems a bit spotty. He says we can’t tell who Cervantes’s influences are, then he goes on to list a whole slew of likely influences. He says that Cervantes was influenced by these people in this order. If we can’t tell, then what makes these people more likely than anyone else? I get excited when I find specific, relevant examples or bits of the story that I haven’t read before. I’ve read the Quijote about ten times now, which is no small feat. It’s kind of like saying that I’ve read the Bible from cover to cover ten times, or War and Peace, or something like that. It’s not really something to read for the beach! But I love the fact that every reading is a new reading. I think I’ve said that already, haven’t I? This is why I hate writing long papers. I always end up making the same argument or quoting the same statistic twice…every time! I submitted my transfer paper on Friday. Technically I’m “done” for the term, but obviously I need to keep working. But not now. I need to take time to breathe for a bit. I will have a transfer viva at some point, but I don’t know when. It could be in July, it could be in September. Part of me hopes that it is in September. In the meantime, I will keep plugging away, reading Plato, looking for specific examples in the Quijote and the Novelas, and hopefully learning Latin at some point. I struggled with a lot of readings this year because I didn’t know Latin. I can pick up bits of it because of my Spanish, but other than that, I’m really in trouble. So I will take a course at some point. Now that I’m done, my schedule is full of lovely social things: dinners with friends, black-tie parties, punting, garden parties, barbecues, shopping, et cetera. It is a lovely time of year, but also a sad time of year. It is the time when people start packing up and going home for good. Every year is different at Catz, since many graduate programs are one year, so the turnover is quite quick. There are new faces coming in and going out every year. I’m sad because my matriculation group is getting smaller and smaller, and the people I care about the most are graduating or getting jobs or going home to finish writing up. In Oxford, the people you start with are the ones who are most important. Since the college system does not separate people by subject, we get to meet a whole variety of grad students doing different types of degrees. And because of this, not everyone finishes at the same time. So it’s the people you start with who count. I really like this system, as it helps me to become familiar with all sorts of subjects I wouldn’t know otherwise. My friend Haris makes a point of talking to everyone about his/her subject at some point. He knows that Oxford is full of great minds, and he should take advantage of the knowledge while he can. I think it’s a great idea, and I’d like to do the same. I’m sad that I haven’t taken as many photos this year. This is due primarily to the fact that my camera sucks. Someone spilled beer on it at a party in February, and I had to get a new one. Now I just rely on my friends to take photos and send them to me. It’s not as fun, and it’s hard to rely on people for that, but it’s better than nothing, I guess. I’ve always liked taking photos. I used to carry around a throwaway camera in my purse, just in case. I actually did have a “just in case” moment – I nearly had the opportunity to meet Celia Cruz. She didn’t show up, though. Oh well. I don’t know what I would have said to her. I always think of these great things to say when I meet a celebrity, but when the time actually comes, I just end up freezing up and saying very little. Then, afterwards, it’s always a “woulda, coulda, shoulda” situation. I’m very excited about the next two days of events. Tonight, Wednesday, is a black tie dinner at St. Hilda’s, where I will be a guest of my lovely friend Elizabeth. Thursday is the garden party for OLGA, the association of Modern Languages graduate students at Oxford. The party will be at the amazing Christ Church, and I’m bringing Chrissie and Chung as my guests. I’m very excited about that, and I have lovely new dresses to wear at each. Lots of pictures to follow – either mine or ones stolen from others! Why is it that I struggle to write 3,000 words, but writing this entry was a piece of cake? It’s nearly 1200 words, and it hasn’t taken me very long at all. I’m trying to fill up a sheet of A4 paper – I’ve set the margins to zero on Word and am typing away, standard twelve point font, single space. Perhaps it is because I am not really thinking about what I am writing? I know I’ve asked this before, but it still amazes me. I think it’s good for me to just clear the thoughts out of my head now that I’m technically done for the academic year. Between now and July, I need to focus on getting cleaned up and packed up, organizing myself for next year. When I return in September, I will be junior dean, and will begin training right away. That will be an exercise in time management. But honestly, I’ve always done better when I’ve had a full schedule. It teaches me to manage my time and keeps my mind active. This has been one of the hardest things about being away from home – now that I have all this quiet to myself, I don’t know what to do with it! Off to bed now, lots to do tomorrow, good night folks! x

Transfer Paper Checklist...'cause it won't get done if you don't hold me accountable...

Just so you know: doctoral students in their first year are given probationer status. At the end of the first year, we submit a paper and have a viva to transfer to full doctoral status. The paper is 10,000 words, like last year's Master's dissertation. This is to prove that we're actually making progress on the thesis, and not just slacking off until the third year when we're supposed to finish.

Two weeks ago, we had to submit the proposed title for the thesis. Mine is: "Figures of Authority: Cervantes's Responses to the Platonist Critique of Fiction in Selected Works." Tomorrow, we submit the dreaded transfer paper. So here's my to-do list before tomorrow:

• revise paper (i.e. stupid auto-checker that changes my Spanish words to English) Done!
  
• clean up references Done!
• do bibliography Done!
• edit 500-word proposal Done!
• fill in stupid transfer application questions, i.e. "Please identify any subject-specific or personal and professional skills in which you (and your supervisor(s)) forsee the need for further development or training." Done!
• print out the whole deal:
• 3 copies of the proposal Done!
• 2 copies of the transfer paper Done!
• 1 copy of the application Done!
• and a partridge in a pear tree Hee hee...
  
• hand it in at Wellington Square Done!
• meet up with fellow language grad students at the Turf, drink heavily Done!

This post is brought to you by...

I just started reading James B. Twitchell's Branded Nation: The Marketing of Megachurch, College Inc., and Museumworld, which I bought the other day at Blackwell's for 10 quid. I'm not even through the first chapter, and I don't think I'll bother finishing it. Never before have I seen a book contribute so very little to the currently existing body of knowledge, and manage to do so in such an uncompelling way.

Here is the opening line to the book:

Branded Nation: If you were looking for two of the most overused title words in the book business, you couldn't do better than this.

That alone made the book lose its appeal to me. It went on to elaborate on how overused these words are, and seemed to end with the idea that it was only a matter of time before someone slapped these two words together for a title. The rest of the book is filled with tired, predictable clichés that made me say, "I was waiting for them to say that." For example, in the chapter on the marketing of churches, there is a line that reads, 

In the beginning Christianity was the Word, and, as I'm sure you've already guessed, the Word was the Brand.

Umm yes, I did already guess it, thanks.

The beginning chapter is about how brands and ads are stories, and gives the standard examples: the J. Peterman catalogue and pretty much anything by David Ogilvy. It wasn't anything I hadn't read a hundred times in a standard introductory advertising or media textbook. The following chapters discuss how marketing now plays such a central role for churches, colleges and museums respectively. I'm still trying to work out his argument, though: that advertising is bad? Colleges shouldn't have stores in them? I'm not really sure what his point is supposed to be.

I think the brands in colleges debate is interesting, and I am in two minds about it. On one hand, I think running a college like a business often sets a bad tone for students. In Oxford, it is clear who gets the priority: conference guests. Students are asked to clean out their rooms entirely during the breaks and shove the entire contents into cupboards, just so conference guests can stay in a "real Oxford room" and get the authentic Oxford experience™ while staying here. Running a college like a business also puts students in the mindset of "the customer is always right" and leads to those fun arguments about how "I pay so much to go here, I deserve an A." Sometimes, with wealthier colleges, I wonder how many people got in based on their CV and how many people got in based on the fact that Daddy built them a library.

On the other hand, I think including stores and brands on the campus landscape can be beneficial in some cases. A lot of underclassmen either can't drive or don't have their car on campus, so I think having stores and restaurants on campus makes it easier for them to be comfortable in their new surroundings. Granted, it doesn't teach them independence in the sense of learning to take public transportation and figuring out how to get places, but I think it does make the whole transition a little less shocking when you don't have to buy your meals from a vending machine.

However, again, it's also problematic because companies can take advantage of their monopolies on campus and jack up their prices tremendously. And availability doesn't equal choice. I'll never forget the campus grocery store at my old uni - nothing but snacks and frozen dinners. It's convenient, it's profitable, but it's certainly not healthy. I guess it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. Colleges want money for buildings, etc., but they need to think about the image they project by aligning themselves with these sponsors.

God, I got bored writing this post. These are such old, tired debates. And Twitchell does nothing to liven them up. You're better off reading an advertising textbook.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Surprising Truths

Tonight, while dining at Exeter with David and Chung (and while walking home with Chung later), our discussion landed on two topics that I'd never really thought about before and can't believe that I'd never thought about them before.

During dinner, we were talking about languages, and the different ways languages can signal respect. David was mentioning how in Japanese, there are 17 different words for "you" - all depending on the level of respect you wish to convey. We then got to talking about how while other languages may not have 17 ways to say "you," perhaps they have less explicit ways to show respect for others.

For example: the way we ask for things. In Spanish, it is perfectly correct to say "yo quiero" (I want), but it is much more polite to say "yo quisiera" (I would like). The same is true in French (je veux/je voudrai). David noticed that the polite form of the address is often the one that uses more syllables, and perhaps it suggests that we're showing respect by taking a bit more effort and skill to address the person. It's even true in English (I want/I would like), and Chung said it is the same in Chinese as well. Perhaps this is not the 100% correct explanation, but I found it interesting and it seems to make sense.

When walking home with Chung, another interesting topic came up in discussion: how people at home react to the fact that we go to Oxford. I know I like to talk a lot on this blog about how great Oxford is, but when I'm home, I seem to be a bit self-conscious about the fact that I go here. My mother is perfectly happy to announce to the world where I go to graduate school, but most of the time I just tell people that I go to grad school in England. Chung told me that he feels the same way. We think it is because people tend to see Oxford as this amazing place with all these rich snobby clever genius people, and we don't really feel like we fall into that category. I don't want people to think differently about me just because I go to a famous school. I don't feel like I fit with the perception of Oxford, and I don't want people to think that I'm telling them about Oxford to show off. I was glad to know that I'm not the only one who thinks this way.

In other news: after getting a terrible letdown by finding out that I was placed on a waiting list for a scholarship, I received some very good news on the financial front. I have just been appointed junior dean at my college for next year! For those of you who are unfamiliar with the system, junior deans are the Percy Weasleys and Hermione Grangers of Oxford - they assist the dean with welfare and discipline issues. With this position, I get free accommodation, free meals, SCR dining rights (i.e. very fancy dinners), and a stipend. In total, it covers about a third of my yearly expenses in Oxford. Yay!

xxx

"For once in my life..."

I owe you all a lot of posts about a lot of things. But I really haven't been in the best frame of mind lately, so those things will have to sit on the back burner for a while. One thing that will not sit on the back burner, though, is this opportunity to ring in the anniversary of my beautiful and wonderful parents.

My parents are some of the strongest people I know. They are both firstborns, so they have grown up looking after their families. Although most of their children and certainly all of their siblings are grown up, they still devote their lives to looking after us. And it's a hell of a job. You all know about the special needs of my siblings - taking care of them and all of the bureaucracy (academic, medical, etc.) that goes along with that is physically and emotionally draining. And you would think that would be more than enough, but even when all that is sorted out, they still continue to give selflessly to others. Sometimes giving is not easy financially or physically or emotionally, but they continue to do it regardless.

I'll give you an example. Once I was telling my parents about a classmate who was suffering from a rare disease. I did not even know the girl that well. My mother, being a nurse, knew that this was a disease that required bone marrow transplants, and said without thinking that she would be willing to donate bone marrow. My father said the same. I didn't even ask - that wasn't even why I told them the story. They just knew that someone needed help, and that they could help, and they wanted to help.

This is a trait that I've tried to adopt from them throughout my life. Having grown up in a household where giving and sharing with others is a way of life, I give to others because it is something I genuinely like to do. I don't give or do things to show off, or to impress people, or to expect something in return. It's just something that makes me happy.

Maybe this is just what you get when two firstborns marry. Maybe we've bitten off more than we can chew at sometimes. But no matter how stressed out we get, if you asked any of us, we wouldn't have things any other way.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad! I love you!

xxx