Transfixus sed non mortuus
"Transfixus sed non mortuus" is the motto on my family's coat of arms. It means "pierced but not dead" or, as someone put it on his homepage (quite accurately), "We are stubborn bastards." ;)
It's a bit fuerte for my point here, but it works.
As I wrap up my second year here, this is the first time when my desire to go home greatly outweighs my desire to stay here. I feel like I struggled in everything I did this year: academics, MCR committee, teaching. It was like I couldn't keep up. And the more I felt like I couldn't keep up, the less I felt like continuing with any of it.
I should mention that this is hardly "too much on my plate." When I was an undergraduate, I took an overload of courses, did an honors thesis and two advertising competitions, and juggled it all with a hectic home life and a less-than-reliable fleet of cars. So the fact that I felt like I couldn't keep up surprises me a bit.
I'm not going to let it get to me, though. My family is a stubborn lot. I'm going to work hard this summer and focus and come back in the fall ready to try again.
But for now, I'm really looking forward to getting the hell out of here for a while.
A day and a half to go...
xxx
P.S. - Isn't my family's coat of arms really weird? What's the deal with the duck??? Heh.
2 comments:
I wouldn't presume to judge whether you have "too much on your plate" or not, but I question your evidence that it's not the issue. It's one thing to take an overload of courses and to do all that other stuff as an undergrad, but something else again as a graduate student. When I was an undergrad I did way, way more things than I can handle now too. There's some difference in the simple fact that I'm older, of course, but I think there's a more important difference: being a graduate student, and/or a scholar, and/or a teacher (and also in my case a parent...) requires a different level of critical and creative engagement than any of the similar tasks involved with being an undergrad. It's simply a different order of magnitude that's required of you to perform at these levels.
So to extend your metaphor, you can't have as much on your plate now because what you are eating is simply different now, more rich and filling.
Again, I am not trying to argue that the problems you faced this year really are about taking on too much--you'll have to decide whether there aren't more useful explanations--but to say that you might not want to dismiss that explanation too quickly.
The duck represents being peirced but not dead. That is why it has an arrow through it. Transfixus means peirced, as though with a pointed weapon. That is what the duck means ok? That si all I had to say. I dont have a google blogger name so it is anonymous, but they call me.
IrishLegend
Post a Comment