Public Service Announcement
Dear Tourist and Student Groups Visiting Oxford:
Welcome. We're glad you're visiting our city.
While you may be enchanted by Oxford's charms, though, I'd like to remind you that just like your hometown back in America or France, people live and work here too. Harry Potter does not live here; students, businessmen and the occasional crazy person do.*
Keeping that in mind, I'd like to ask you a favo(u)r: get out of the way.
I know your teacher/tour guide asked you to stick together. I know you'd like to take pictures of the colleges where all these mythical books and films took place, but there are people who need to get places. You do not need to take up the entire sidewalk. Line up against a wall or something.
And when you decide to sit on the ground to eat your McDonald's (and honestly, why are you doing that if you're French?), please do not block the door of whatever building/store is nearby.** People need to get in and out and again, you're in the way. If your teacher/tour guide told you to wait in front of the Porter's Lodge of whatever college you're staying in, s/he didn't mean it quite so literally. You don't have to wedge yourself in the doorway - clear a path. And when you see your friends clearing a path, you should do the same. I shouldn't have to say "Excuse me" to five of you to get into a building.
Thanks for listening, and enjoy your stay.
*There is this crazy lady that I've seen twice now, walking around the Broad Street/Magdalen Street area singing weird songs in a high-pitched voice. I don't think she's homeless - just crazy.
**Why is it that the French kids go to McDonald's and then sit down in front of the Gap? Attention, garçons et filles: even though we speak the same language, we are not interchangeable countries. Have a pasty and go to Primark.
4 comments:
You missed out what the stars were...
What gets me is the groups of teenagers in matching yellow kagools standing in a big pack like a wall of plastic.
I really think you should send this to some newpapers as it is a stroke of sheer genius and encapsulates how we all feel in OXford. For me, that sums up a year round phenomenon, rather than just a summer one!
I used to live in the North End of Boston where all the tourists go to see the Old North Church and dine on Italian meals at the 300 places to eat there. The problem is that the large group of tourists stop every 4 feet to read yet ANOTHER menu that is EXACTLY the same as the one at the place 4 feet away. Drove me nuts... still does. Good luck with the tourists!
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