On being a Sallie Mae Scholar

This began as a Wednesday Whine over at Phantom Scribbler's place, and I thought I would turn it into a post over here.

I did really well financially during my undergraduate and first graduate degrees. I earned a lot of scholarships and grants, and ended up taking out far fewer loans than most people do during my four years as an undergraduate. And my graduate program was completely free, so that was even better. So in my first six years of college education, I ended up with less than $18,000 in loans. I don't think that's too bad, especially considering the fact that I went to a private school.

Oxford finances have been a hell of a lot trickier. In order to get accepted for a degree at Oxford, you need to show documentation that you can afford tuition and fees for your entire program. My current program is only a year, so it wasn't as bad as it could be: I sent them loan forms and bank statements and my parents' bank statements and I was all set. It was a bit of a stretch, but they accepted it. I ended up taking out a larger loan for this year alone than I did for my entire undergraduate and graduate career combined, and I have already drained that plus most of my savings.

Now here's the tough part. I want to apply for the PhD (called DPhil here). To be accepted, I need to show that I can afford three years worth of tuition and fees. Tuition and fees for an international student are roughly $37,000 a year. And, obviously, they go up each year, as tuition fees often do. So I would have to have documentation for over $100,000.

I sure as hell don't have that.
And my parents sure as hell don't have that.
And I sure as hell am not going to take out a loan for over $100,000 in one fell swoop.

It sucks because I can't take out a loan for the first year and then see how it goes from there. And it sucks because they don't really do teaching assistantships like they do in the States...I may get a small stipend to teach a small class, but not tuition.

And here's the real winner: THEY DON'T GIVE SCHOLARSHIPS BASED ON NEED. People are actually discouraged from playing the need angle when applying. When you apply for a scholarship, you have to prove that you have some sort of financial means to pay for the whole thing. Why the hell would I be applying for this scholarship, then, if I could afford the tuition?????

I could apply for a merit scholarship, but I'm going up against kids who wrote books when they were 15 and stuff like that. My chances are like one in a billion. And many of the scholarships here require you to be a UK or EU citizen. Plus there are always those ones with the strange requirements, like if your father is over 6 feet tall and is a Vietnam War vet or if you're an Indian woman who speaks Klingon* and is majoring in Engineering. There are no "European-American middle class mature students** majoring in Spanish literature" scholarships.

I want to do a PhD here. I am qualified to do a PhD here. And the numbers that are stopping me are the ones in my bank account, not the ones on my transcript.

Unless a miracle can take place any time soon, it looks like next year will be a working year.



*Apparently, there is a scholarship here for people who speak Klingon.
**Yes, folks, in a few short weeks, I will be what most people call a mature student, as I will be entering my late twenties. Gahhhhhh!!!!!